Random Ramblings of Dori Post
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Dori Post

Reflection

As the holiday season approaches it is that time once again to review the goals for the year and see what has been accomplished and what goes onto the list again for next year. 

I actually find that I accomplished a lot of things that were not on the list.  Perhaps I should write them in for my review to gain a more fair perspective. 

It has been a difficult year.  I don't know anyone that hasn't had a difficult year.  Mostly for 2012 I really pray things improve overall for everyone.  From the personal levels to the economy of the country or even the world; I hope 2012 is a year of improvement. 

I had high hopes for 2011 and was convinced it was going to be a positive year.  However, it was instead a very difficult year.  The only consolation is that I feel as though the year went by quickly.  With all the issues and conflicts it brought though it seems as though it was a constant barrage.  Just as we seemed to be regaining our breath from one blow life had thrown our way we got another one to knock the air from our sails.  We need a break.  Everyone needs a break.

Was the year all negative?  No.  There definitely were positives mixed in with accomplishments, triumphs and love.  If there hadn't been these things it would have been an unbearable year.  However, I have to classify it more as just a difficult year. 

I am still thankful for many things my life has afforded me.  I truly have blessings that I do not take lightly.    These are the foundation for steadying yourself when life is blowing you around trying to shake your core.  The blessings in life are what keep me going.  They are what I hang onto and what keeps me inspired. 

So 2012 will have to be a better year.  I think we all have simply had enough turmoil to handle for a while and we need a fresh breeze of good things in the coming year.  Hopefully a positive attitude and belief in the potential for a better year will influence it into being one. 

So MERRY CHRISTMAS to all....  I don't care if the anti-religious don't approve of that phrase.  The fact is there would not be any "Happy Holidays" if it weren't for the religious origins of the season to start with.   So yes, MERRY CHRISTMAS it is... 

Absolutely, HAPPY NEW YEAR...  I believe we are long past due for a good year and 2012 has to be it.  We must all believe.  Like Peter Pan implored us to believe in fairies; I implore us all to believe it will be a good year. 



The Mid Year Review

Well I find that half of the year has almost passed and realizing that my New Year's Resolution was one of the last couple of posts here I find its time to review and see how much I have accomplished so far on my "Resolutions" for the year. 

First off to say the year has been unpredictable so far would be a gross understatement.  It has been full of surprises to say the least.  Hurdles is probably not quite accurate because some were downright blows to the gut.  It's been a challenging year so far.  I had such high hopes for this year but so far it has been challenging and downright heart-wrenching. 

So the goals on the To Do list haven't been ticked off too much yet.  There have been quite a few other things that maybe should be noted instead that we got sidetracked by instead.  We have had a tumultuous year so far.  We have had several people losses and tragedies to get through.  We had to move again unexpectedly.  We have had more than our share of Murphy's Law issues to deal with.  We've been sick, etc.  It's just been rough all around. 

Despite it all I have gotten a few things off the To Do list and that does give me a sense of accomplishment.  I have renewed determination to accomplish more of them before the year is out as well.  The summer has finally arrived and I feel better so it helps encourage the "can do" spirit. 

I hope and pray that the second half of the year gets on track and balances out.  We are due some positive energy for sure. 
 

On Losing Children

I have not been able to write about this for a month.  Last month I took my daughter on a school Scuba Diving trip.  She and her dive partner had a great time.  They were the last ones back in the boat when the group realized two of the teenagers were missing.

The Dive Masters went back into the water and the search lasted two and a half agonizing hours.  I was waiting at the dock for them to return.  We finally knew two boys were missing after they were about two hours late returning.  The Dive Master from the chartered boat found their bodies at the bottom of the ocean. The coast guard acquired them after they were brought up to the kids' boat. 

The accident was terribly close.  It has had a huge impact on everyone involved; as well as the family, friends, and neighbors of our rather small city.  The boys were football players at the city’s only high school.  There wasn’t anyone in the city that was unaware of the accident and upset by it.  Many people from other cities and states also were shaken.  It even made the news across the country and we got phone calls from relatives in other states. 

It is so hard to know how to console children suffering from losing their friends.   It was a terrible tragedy and accident.  These things happen.  Teenagers tend to feel invincible and it is a startling experience for them to realize they are not. However, the kids organized several memorial events and for the first time the school administration was very supportive of them.  The kids did very well consoling each other and finding their own way to get closure. 

Days after this accident one of my son’s friends died in a car accident.  The third one he has lost in the past year.  How do you explain to kids the justification for children dying when you can’t conceive a logical explanation yourself. 

I can not even count the number of friends my kids have lost over the years.  There have been so many.  My oldest son lost his kindergarten best friend when they were in first grade.  A baby who suffered from cancer.  There is no logical explanation or way to really make right the death of a child.  While I know people resign to “God’s Will” it is still difficult to figure out why he would will such a thing. 

I suppose it isn’t our place to challenge God’s Will; but we are a rational, scientific society that has trouble letting go until we have explanations.  We can’t get closure until we have determined some sort of rationalization for it.  When there is none we have to develop our own.

In the midst of this terrifying tragedy I realize I am very fortunate.  My brother just died in January and he is the first out of nine of us to die, and he was 51.  All of us have made it to adulthood and had the chance to live before we left this world.  We have around 20 children between us all and all have been healthy and we haven’t lost any yet.  There are even fourth generation children that so far all have been healthy as well.  We are a very large family that has been very fortunate to have had little loss so far.  The youngest death I know of was at the age of forty, when my aunt died in an automobile accident. 

When I see so many children dying and my kids suffering their loss I give thanks.  Sure that sounds strange, but I have to give thanks that I have not been on the other side of the tragedies, the parents of the lost children.  My heart breaks for them and I mourn the loss for them; but I also am so grateful I am not experiencing the loss of my own child.

I pray always; God Bless all our children.  Please keep them safe and don't take them too soon. 


New Year's Resolution

It's been a long time since I posted to this blog.  Mostly, I have an odd technical difficulty where I can't access the site myself from my internet at home.  Modern technology.  I have a satellite internet provider and apparently its not fast enough for the servers my web sites are located on.  I am probably going to have to change providers, but other than that, I actually like the satellite internet.  So I keep hoping they will figure out how to increase their speeds and remedy the problem.

So the New Year includes resolutions to resume writing more.  I'm happy to say the first book was finished last year.  This year I have to get it published.  It is a fiction piece about a very diverse group of people that take a writing class together and wind up developing unlikely friendships.  The story leaves the potential for several sequels. 

Other resolutions sort of amount to a "To Do" list rather than only resolutions.  The "to dos" will result in resolution type changes when they are accomplished.  The list is lofty.  There are people important to me that I need to visit.  Visits that have been put off way too long.

You know we all do that.  Let time get past us and before we know it its been a very long time since we've seen people that are still important to us.  Sadly, I've lost a couple people in recent years that I hadn't seen for far too long.  When it comes to life and death the reasons I hadn't seen them were weak and pathetic. 

I think more of us should put people like that on their list of things they need to do each year.  Work those things into your life.  You'd be surprised how fast the years slip away that you haven't visited that person and enjoyed their company.  Enjoyed the way they entertained a room, laughed, sang songs or talked with you about "deep" things no one else likes to talk about.  Their memorial is no place to figure that out. 

So I hope I can inspire some to remember to put those people they haven't seen for too long on your list of things to do this year.  Life is short and precious.  What matters is the people we love.  Not the chores we need to get done or the routine we are hesitant to break.  Its the people in our lives that fill our hearts. 

Happy New Year to all.

~Dori





The Muse behind Dori Post

The inspiration behind Dori Post was born early in a ranch home of a colleague of her father's while they were traveling for his business.  He worked for Internation Harvester (I think), the farming equipment company, and they were staying at a rancher's home in the small area of Fulda, Minnesota when she arrived unexpectedly on January 22, 1900. 

She never had a birth certificate and she was an only child so the family tree stopped with her.  It's difficult to trace it anywhere.  Her father died when she was a teenager and her mother died before I was born.  She was French Basque, the family tree traces from Canada.  There was a single cousin that we visited once in Colorado when I was about twelve; and no one has any contact information for him anymore. 

Unfortunately, all the family documents, heirlooms, etc. were lost in a fire that my grandfather died in.  So there are no old trunks or photo albums or scrap books to go through. 

She was brought up in finishing schools and destined to be a concert pianist.  She had incredible insight and intelligence.  She passed up the opportunity to be a concert pianist and instead stayed home to take care of her ailing mother.  She married late and had three children in her late thirties and early forties.  She never drove a car and walked to do most of her errands.  She was a strong and proud woman that even walked with a straight and elegant gait that gave her a presence when she entered a room that made everyone take notice.  She stood out and people were drawn to her.  She could have been royalty. 

She didn't have an easy life.  They didn't have a lot of money and sometimes they had very little.  At some points she took in sewing jobs or other things to make ends meet.  She pawned her wedding rings once when it was necessary.  She got new ones from her husband later when things got better.  Despite the difficult times she maintained her dignity always and still had class.  She still entered a room and people took notice.  She made you realize that money isn't what gives someone class.  It's something inside a person.  It's heart.

She had so many different talents.  In addition to music, she sewed flawlessly, she wrote beautifully, she was an incredible cook, she read avidly and had a wonderful mind for literature. 

She once wrote a story about a little boy that got bounced around foster homes and all he had that was truly his was a teddy bear.  It was for a fundraiser to buy kids in Juvenal Hall stuffed animals for Christmas.  The story made people cry.  The fundraiser was a screaming success.  Everything she did came out flawless.  It was amazing. 

She demanded we all spoke proper English and even three generations later our children excel in vocabulary and language skills thanks to her. 

When she married she converted to Catholicism for her husband and was the most devout Catholic I ever knew.  While she may not have been the most devout mass attending person; she was a devout Christian.  Never do unto others without conscience first.  Always think how you would feel before you do to someone else.  Put the shoe on your own foot first.  Again, three generations later it is embedded in our children because of her.  Children that never even had the opportunity to meet her.

I catch myself all the time living her legacies, quoting her, doing what she taught me, wanting to be like her.  She was strong, inspiring, talented, intelligent, proud, charitable, and classy.  I miss her terribly even though she has been gone 30 years.  The best I can do to honor her is to try and carry on some of her best traits.  She was truly an inspiring woman.

So that is who is behind Dori Post (not her name) for inspiration.  A strong inspiring person that keeps up the fight. 



In the Spirit of Change


December always bring that tendency to reflect on the past year and look forward as to what is in store for the upcoming year.  At least I think most people do it to some extent.  In some cases it may even be subconciously. 

What's interesting is that despite the natural tendency to resist change; people generally will also seek it.  We are definitely unsettled beings.  We resist and find changes and make ourselves miserable over them but then if we don't have any changes in our lives we seek them.

In reflecting the end of the year people are looking at the classifieds to seek new homes, cars, jobs, furniture.  Even the spirit of Christmas has turned into more of a seeking of some new feature or excitement to add to a person's life.  It can be a new electronic device, expensive jewelry or a number of other items.  It seems the spirit of the December holidays has a lot to do with what changes people can make in their or each other's lives.  Some new excitement or pizazz. 

Perhaps its because people get too caught up in the mundane and routine and forget to enjoy those things the rest of the year that they have to think about it at the end of the year and figure out what to change to cheer up their lives.  It doesn't last.  They wind up in the same state by March and once again are seeking the next thing the next December. 

The guy that got up three hours before he had to go to work to go surfing on the beach because he loved the ocean knew how to live.  He knew how to make sure the special parts of life were a part of his daily life.  He worked less hours and turned down jobs in places he didn't want to live because being near the ocean was important to him.  He didn't sell his soul to money, he sold it to life.  He kept what he loved a priority in his life and he worked and paid his bills and lived a good life around it.  I admired him greatly.  He passed away this September. 

We should all live the way he did.  Prioritize what is really important to us.  If you love the ocean then make it a priority in your life.  Find the time to enjoy it.  If you love to hike, them make the time to do it.  If you love reading, find time to do that.  But prioritize what you love; not what you think you have to do. 

Prioritizing the extra work on your desk, laundry, bills, lawn and putting our passions on the back burner makes us miserable human beings.  It's all wrong.  Yes we have to do those things.  However, a person's inspiration comes from their passions and what they love.  Prioritize them and work them INTO the schedule.  Just make them important. 

You might find everything will fall into place when you are more content and inspired. 

 

The Struggle Never Ends


Life is a constant struggle it seems.  We keep fighting for that state of smooth sailing but it doesn't exist.  There is alway another hurdle.  It can be very disheartening.  But we must persist.  We must keep fighting and struggling past each hurdle. We must tackle each thing that gets in our way. 

What keeps us going?  The hope that there is a better state of smooth sailing ahead of us.  That some day it won't be so difficult for us.  Perhaps there is.  I don't think everyone struggles as hard as I do.  I still hope some day my struggle won't be as hard as it has been.  I'm worn out.  I'm so very tired.  I don't know how I can keep fighting so hard so constantly. 

However, I'm not sure what the option is.  How do you stop fighting?  How do you give up?  If a hurdle is thrown at you what choice to you have but to react?  It's like blinking.  It's about impossible to resist the urge.  So you find yourself in the fight no matter how tired or worn out you are.  You look back and find you are on the other side of the hurdle.  You aren't sure how you got there. 

Of course you turn around and there is another one ahead of you.  They are always there.  But sometimes there is a little break in between.  I just wish the breaks would be a bit bigger than they have been.  But I keep the faith that someday they will. 
   
 

Life is Always Changing


It's a normal thing that life is always changing.  I am not sure why we are always looking for a state of no change.  That 'settling down' feeling.  I don't know when it ever gets there because I've never been there.  I remember when I was young I thought that had to be the most boring thing.  I never wanted to be 'settled'. 

Then as I got older I kept wondering when I would achieve it.  Now I wonder with dismay if I will ever get to settle.  But I don't think we ever do.  I don't think life is ever really settled as long as we are an active part of it.  As long as we keep living we are not settled. 

The true question is, do we even want to be?  Sure, there are days that I am truly exhausted and exasperated and don't think I can take another step and I wish I didn't have so many things on my plate.  The issue isn't the things on my plate.  It's why I am exhausted or exasperated.  That usually points back to my health or wealth; or lack of. 

So its not so much how much I have going on in my life but the limits I have in my ability to respond to it.  On the other side, it keeps it interesting.  My kids all have interesting, active lives and it keeps me intrigued and interested and its fun.  Nothing boring for me.  Especially when things are going alright for them. 

I do get caught up in worry when things are not going well for them and its really hard because I can't fix it; like mom's want to do.  But when things are going alright its a lot of fun to sort of live through their lives.  Things I never may have done I sort of get to experience through their experiences.  It gives me a fuller life.

So I guess I was right all along; that life always changing is a good thing.  I don't want it to ever really settle down.  Just let me take a break now and then to catch my breath.

 

Make a Difference

This economy has everyone I know worried.  Even the kids are worried.  What is worse is that it is believed it will get worse before it gets better.  I'm not sure what that means exactly.  More people will be out of work.  More businesses will close. 

I'm not sure but it seems that there is just less and less money circulating around.  We do keep buying foreign oil and sending money overseas.  Doesn't that mean there is less money left in the U.S.?  How do we get that money back here?  Are those countries buying something equally valuable from us in return?  If not, we are shipping our cash out of the country and there really is less of it in this country.

Aside from the money issue what will our lives be like if this situation does get worse?  Will we find empty shelves on the grocery stores?  Will produce be hard to find?  Will there be shortages on certain products and ridiculous prices of the short supply items?  I'm already on disability and a fixed income that doesn't go very far.  I wonder if the little bit of money I have is going to be stretched even thinner than it is already.

How do we allow ourselves, the greatest nation in the world, to get this bad?  We take things for granted too much.  We believe in fairy tales and that everything is going to be alright.  Then when it isn't we look to blame someone else instead of taking responsibility for it and making the changes ourselves.  We are too passive.  We want someone else to make things happen for us.

We all need to make a difference.  We all need to take responsibility for changing things.  Roll up our sleeves and get busy.  Get involved. 

Girls Just Want To Have Fun


I have always been way too serious and responsible.  I rarely let my guard down and go enjoy myself just for me.  I can't think of any times I went and took a trip with a friend.  I never was much for just playing, even as a kid. 

I tortured my little brothers playing school all the time.  I was far too serious and made them sit and do serious assignments.  It was playing in a sense but I took it very seriously.  I wasn't having much fun.  I was serious about providing them with some sort of education. 

The only thing I've ever done that is some sort of play for me is riding my motorcycle.  It's invigorating and there is no other reason that the enjoyment that I do it.  The wind in your face is very invigorating and clears your mind.  It connects you with nature and the power of it.

I want to do more playing.  Perhaps a trip somewhere tropical with a friend.  I guess I'll have to find a piggy bank and start throwing my change in it.  I think playing is important.  Even at my ripe old "mid-life" age.  I haven't been doing much of it in my life but I want to learn.