The Random Ramblings of Dori Post
What I think about whatever.
Dori Post
The Muse behind Dori Post
The inspiration behind Dori Post was born early in a ranch home of a colleague of her father's while they were traveling for his business. He worked for Internation Harvester (I think), the farming equipment company, and they were staying at a rancher's home in the small area of Fulda, Minnesota when she arrived unexpectedly on January 22, 1900.
She never had a birth certificate and she was an only child so the family tree stopped with her. It's difficult to trace it anywhere. Her father died when she was a teenager and her mother died before I was born. She was French Basque, the family tree traces from Canada. There was a single cousin that we visited once in Colorado when I was about twelve; and no one has any contact information for him anymore.
Unfortunately, all the family documents, heirlooms, etc. were lost in a fire that my grandfather died in. So there are no old trunks or photo albums or scrap books to go through.
She was brought up in finishing schools and destined to be a concert pianist. She had incredible insight and intelligence. She passed up the opportunity to be a concert pianist and instead stayed home to take care of her ailing mother. She married late and had three children in her late thirties and early forties. She never drove a car and walked to do most of her errands. She was a strong and proud woman that even walked with a straight and elegant gait that gave her a presence when she entered a room that made everyone take notice. She stood out and people were drawn to her. She could have been royalty.
She didn't have an easy life. They didn't have a lot of money and sometimes they had very little. At some points she took in sewing jobs or other things to make ends meet. She pawned her wedding rings once when it was necessary. She got new ones from her husband later when things got better. Despite the difficult times she maintained her dignity always and still had class. She still entered a room and people took notice. She made you realize that money isn't what gives someone class. It's something inside a person. It's heart.
She had so many different talents. In addition to music, she sewed flawlessly, she wrote beautifully, she was an incredible cook, she read avidly and had a wonderful mind for literature.
She once wrote a story about a little boy that got bounced around foster homes and all he had that was truly his was a teddy bear. It was for a fundraiser to buy kids in Juvenal Hall stuffed animals for Christmas. The story made people cry. The fundraiser was a screaming success. Everything she did came out flawless. It was amazing.
She demanded we all spoke proper English and even three generations later our children excel in vocabulary and language skills thanks to her.
When she married she converted to Catholicism for her husband and was the most devout Catholic I ever knew. While she may not have been the most devout mass attending person; she was a devout Christian. Never do unto others without conscience first. Always think how you would feel before you do to someone else. Put the shoe on your own foot first. Again, three generations later it is embedded in our children because of her. Children that never even had the opportunity to meet her.
I catch myself all the time living her legacies, quoting her, doing what she taught me, wanting to be like her. She was strong, inspiring, talented, intelligent, proud, charitable, and classy. I miss her terribly even though she has been gone 30 years. The best I can do to honor her is to try and carry on some of her best traits. She was truly an inspiring woman.
So that is who is behind Dori Post (not her name) for inspiration. A strong inspiring person that keeps up the fight.
She never had a birth certificate and she was an only child so the family tree stopped with her. It's difficult to trace it anywhere. Her father died when she was a teenager and her mother died before I was born. She was French Basque, the family tree traces from Canada. There was a single cousin that we visited once in Colorado when I was about twelve; and no one has any contact information for him anymore.
Unfortunately, all the family documents, heirlooms, etc. were lost in a fire that my grandfather died in. So there are no old trunks or photo albums or scrap books to go through.
She was brought up in finishing schools and destined to be a concert pianist. She had incredible insight and intelligence. She passed up the opportunity to be a concert pianist and instead stayed home to take care of her ailing mother. She married late and had three children in her late thirties and early forties. She never drove a car and walked to do most of her errands. She was a strong and proud woman that even walked with a straight and elegant gait that gave her a presence when she entered a room that made everyone take notice. She stood out and people were drawn to her. She could have been royalty.
She didn't have an easy life. They didn't have a lot of money and sometimes they had very little. At some points she took in sewing jobs or other things to make ends meet. She pawned her wedding rings once when it was necessary. She got new ones from her husband later when things got better. Despite the difficult times she maintained her dignity always and still had class. She still entered a room and people took notice. She made you realize that money isn't what gives someone class. It's something inside a person. It's heart.
She had so many different talents. In addition to music, she sewed flawlessly, she wrote beautifully, she was an incredible cook, she read avidly and had a wonderful mind for literature.
She once wrote a story about a little boy that got bounced around foster homes and all he had that was truly his was a teddy bear. It was for a fundraiser to buy kids in Juvenal Hall stuffed animals for Christmas. The story made people cry. The fundraiser was a screaming success. Everything she did came out flawless. It was amazing.
She demanded we all spoke proper English and even three generations later our children excel in vocabulary and language skills thanks to her.
When she married she converted to Catholicism for her husband and was the most devout Catholic I ever knew. While she may not have been the most devout mass attending person; she was a devout Christian. Never do unto others without conscience first. Always think how you would feel before you do to someone else. Put the shoe on your own foot first. Again, three generations later it is embedded in our children because of her. Children that never even had the opportunity to meet her.
I catch myself all the time living her legacies, quoting her, doing what she taught me, wanting to be like her. She was strong, inspiring, talented, intelligent, proud, charitable, and classy. I miss her terribly even though she has been gone 30 years. The best I can do to honor her is to try and carry on some of her best traits. She was truly an inspiring woman.
So that is who is behind Dori Post (not her name) for inspiration. A strong inspiring person that keeps up the fight.
In the Spirit of Change
December always bring that tendency to reflect on the past year and look forward as to what is in store for the upcoming year. At least I think most people do it to some extent. In some cases it may even be subconciously.
What's interesting is that despite the natural tendency to resist change; people generally will also seek it. We are definitely unsettled beings. We resist and find changes and make ourselves miserable over them but then if we don't have any changes in our lives we seek them.
In reflecting the end of the year people are looking at the classifieds to seek new homes, cars, jobs, furniture. Even the spirit of Christmas has turned into more of a seeking of some new feature or excitement to add to a person's life. It can be a new electronic device, expensive jewelry or a number of other items. It seems the spirit of the December holidays has a lot to do with what changes people can make in their or each other's lives. Some new excitement or pizazz.
Perhaps its because people get too caught up in the mundane and routine and forget to enjoy those things the rest of the year that they have to think about it at the end of the year and figure out what to change to cheer up their lives. It doesn't last. They wind up in the same state by March and once again are seeking the next thing the next December.
The guy that got up three hours before he had to go to work to go surfing on the beach because he loved the ocean knew how to live. He knew how to make sure the special parts of life were a part of his daily life. He worked less hours and turned down jobs in places he didn't want to live because being near the ocean was important to him. He didn't sell his soul to money, he sold it to life. He kept what he loved a priority in his life and he worked and paid his bills and lived a good life around it. I admired him greatly. He passed away this September.
We should all live the way he did. Prioritize what is really important to us. If you love the ocean then make it a priority in your life. Find the time to enjoy it. If you love to hike, them make the time to do it. If you love reading, find time to do that. But prioritize what you love; not what you think you have to do.
Prioritizing the extra work on your desk, laundry, bills, lawn and putting our passions on the back burner makes us miserable human beings. It's all wrong. Yes we have to do those things. However, a person's inspiration comes from their passions and what they love. Prioritize them and work them INTO the schedule. Just make them important.
You might find everything will fall into place when you are more content and inspired.
The Struggle Never Ends
Life is a constant struggle it seems. We keep fighting for that state of smooth sailing but it doesn't exist. There is alway another hurdle. It can be very disheartening. But we must persist. We must keep fighting and struggling past each hurdle. We must tackle each thing that gets in our way.
What keeps us going? The hope that there is a better state of smooth sailing ahead of us. That some day it won't be so difficult for us. Perhaps there is. I don't think everyone struggles as hard as I do. I still hope some day my struggle won't be as hard as it has been. I'm worn out. I'm so very tired. I don't know how I can keep fighting so hard so constantly.
However, I'm not sure what the option is. How do you stop fighting? How do you give up? If a hurdle is thrown at you what choice to you have but to react? It's like blinking. It's about impossible to resist the urge. So you find yourself in the fight no matter how tired or worn out you are. You look back and find you are on the other side of the hurdle. You aren't sure how you got there.
Of course you turn around and there is another one ahead of you. They are always there. But sometimes there is a little break in between. I just wish the breaks would be a bit bigger than they have been. But I keep the faith that someday they will.
Life is Always Changing
It's a normal thing that life is always changing. I am not sure why we are always looking for a state of no change. That 'settling down' feeling. I don't know when it ever gets there because I've never been there. I remember when I was young I thought that had to be the most boring thing. I never wanted to be 'settled'.
Then as I got older I kept wondering when I would achieve it. Now I wonder with dismay if I will ever get to settle. But I don't think we ever do. I don't think life is ever really settled as long as we are an active part of it. As long as we keep living we are not settled.
The true question is, do we even want to be? Sure, there are days that I am truly exhausted and exasperated and don't think I can take another step and I wish I didn't have so many things on my plate. The issue isn't the things on my plate. It's why I am exhausted or exasperated. That usually points back to my health or wealth; or lack of.
So its not so much how much I have going on in my life but the limits I have in my ability to respond to it. On the other side, it keeps it interesting. My kids all have interesting, active lives and it keeps me intrigued and interested and its fun. Nothing boring for me. Especially when things are going alright for them.
I do get caught up in worry when things are not going well for them and its really hard because I can't fix it; like mom's want to do. But when things are going alright its a lot of fun to sort of live through their lives. Things I never may have done I sort of get to experience through their experiences. It gives me a fuller life.
So I guess I was right all along; that life always changing is a good thing. I don't want it to ever really settle down. Just let me take a break now and then to catch my breath.
Make a Difference
This economy has everyone I know worried. Even the kids are worried. What is worse is that it is believed it will get worse before it gets better. I'm not sure what that means exactly. More people will be out of work. More businesses will close.
I'm not sure but it seems that there is just less and less money circulating around. We do keep buying foreign oil and sending money overseas. Doesn't that mean there is less money left in the U.S.? How do we get that money back here? Are those countries buying something equally valuable from us in return? If not, we are shipping our cash out of the country and there really is less of it in this country.
Aside from the money issue what will our lives be like if this situation does get worse? Will we find empty shelves on the grocery stores? Will produce be hard to find? Will there be shortages on certain products and ridiculous prices of the short supply items? I'm already on disability and a fixed income that doesn't go very far. I wonder if the little bit of money I have is going to be stretched even thinner than it is already.
How do we allow ourselves, the greatest nation in the world, to get this bad? We take things for granted too much. We believe in fairy tales and that everything is going to be alright. Then when it isn't we look to blame someone else instead of taking responsibility for it and making the changes ourselves. We are too passive. We want someone else to make things happen for us.
We all need to make a difference. We all need to take responsibility for changing things. Roll up our sleeves and get busy. Get involved.
I'm not sure but it seems that there is just less and less money circulating around. We do keep buying foreign oil and sending money overseas. Doesn't that mean there is less money left in the U.S.? How do we get that money back here? Are those countries buying something equally valuable from us in return? If not, we are shipping our cash out of the country and there really is less of it in this country.
Aside from the money issue what will our lives be like if this situation does get worse? Will we find empty shelves on the grocery stores? Will produce be hard to find? Will there be shortages on certain products and ridiculous prices of the short supply items? I'm already on disability and a fixed income that doesn't go very far. I wonder if the little bit of money I have is going to be stretched even thinner than it is already.
How do we allow ourselves, the greatest nation in the world, to get this bad? We take things for granted too much. We believe in fairy tales and that everything is going to be alright. Then when it isn't we look to blame someone else instead of taking responsibility for it and making the changes ourselves. We are too passive. We want someone else to make things happen for us.
We all need to make a difference. We all need to take responsibility for changing things. Roll up our sleeves and get busy. Get involved.
Girls Just Want To Have Fun
I have always been way too serious and responsible. I rarely let my guard down and go enjoy myself just for me. I can't think of any times I went and took a trip with a friend. I never was much for just playing, even as a kid.
I tortured my little brothers playing school all the time. I was far too serious and made them sit and do serious assignments. It was playing in a sense but I took it very seriously. I wasn't having much fun. I was serious about providing them with some sort of education.
The only thing I've ever done that is some sort of play for me is riding my motorcycle. It's invigorating and there is no other reason that the enjoyment that I do it. The wind in your face is very invigorating and clears your mind. It connects you with nature and the power of it.
I want to do more playing. Perhaps a trip somewhere tropical with a friend. I guess I'll have to find a piggy bank and start throwing my change in it. I think playing is important. Even at my ripe old "mid-life" age. I haven't been doing much of it in my life but I want to learn.
The Flop House
I've heard it a thousand times. I've said it a thousand times myself. "We aren't running a flop house here." But I think back and remember my Grandmother frequently making up a bed for someone. I don't know if it was through the church or through the welfare office but she used to sometimes be making up a bed for people in the evening; after bedtime, for someone that came to them needing a place to sleep.
I remember her pulling out sheets, blankets and pillows and making a crisp, clean bed on the sofa that folded down flat or the spare room off the kitchen. It's a fuzzy memory. I don't remember any of the people she made the bed for. I do know that she took in children for Juvenile hall until they could be placed. Not ones that committed crimes but the ones that had been taken for other reasons. She might have them a night or for a couple weeks.
The moral of this story is that my Grandma could never turn away a person that needed a place to sleep. Neither could my mother. Neither can I.
Recently my daughter had a couple staying here. They had just come into town, back from out of town but the guy we knew from him living here previously. Unfortunately, they didn't tell us she was under age. She got picked up and sent home. That's happened to me before. Do I regret it? No, she needed a place to stay regardless and what was I to do? Make her sleep on the street because she was under 18? I don't think so.
More recently we've had a friend of my younger girls staying over some of the time. Her and her mom have been hit even harder than we have lately because she's a realtor. They've lost their home, etc. They have to stay out of the area with Grandma but the girl is still at school here. Mom is working 2 odd jobs at odd hours to try to keep money coming in. So sometimes its easier to have the girl stay here and catch the bus to/from school. Heck, I understand what they are going through. I understand what its like to need help. It's the least I can do.
So am I running a flop house? Maybe. If I am, then I'm proud of it. I don't think I'm taking unnecessary risks. But I just can't turn people in need away. I'm not out scooping up people off the street but if people I know come to my door and ask for help; and I can give it to them; then I will. Letting them sleep on my family room floor (on a mattress) is really no big sacrifice for me. A couple extra showers and maybe extra bowls of cereal in the morning just isn't going to send me to the streets. It's the very least I can offer.
I remember her pulling out sheets, blankets and pillows and making a crisp, clean bed on the sofa that folded down flat or the spare room off the kitchen. It's a fuzzy memory. I don't remember any of the people she made the bed for. I do know that she took in children for Juvenile hall until they could be placed. Not ones that committed crimes but the ones that had been taken for other reasons. She might have them a night or for a couple weeks.
The moral of this story is that my Grandma could never turn away a person that needed a place to sleep. Neither could my mother. Neither can I.
Recently my daughter had a couple staying here. They had just come into town, back from out of town but the guy we knew from him living here previously. Unfortunately, they didn't tell us she was under age. She got picked up and sent home. That's happened to me before. Do I regret it? No, she needed a place to stay regardless and what was I to do? Make her sleep on the street because she was under 18? I don't think so.
More recently we've had a friend of my younger girls staying over some of the time. Her and her mom have been hit even harder than we have lately because she's a realtor. They've lost their home, etc. They have to stay out of the area with Grandma but the girl is still at school here. Mom is working 2 odd jobs at odd hours to try to keep money coming in. So sometimes its easier to have the girl stay here and catch the bus to/from school. Heck, I understand what they are going through. I understand what its like to need help. It's the least I can do.
So am I running a flop house? Maybe. If I am, then I'm proud of it. I don't think I'm taking unnecessary risks. But I just can't turn people in need away. I'm not out scooping up people off the street but if people I know come to my door and ask for help; and I can give it to them; then I will. Letting them sleep on my family room floor (on a mattress) is really no big sacrifice for me. A couple extra showers and maybe extra bowls of cereal in the morning just isn't going to send me to the streets. It's the very least I can offer.
WomanHood
Lately I have been reading several magazines that are geared towards women, mostly older women. The main focus of magazines like these is women reinventing themselves, achieving their dreams, and finding success.
There is a lot of discussion about being your best, reclaiming your life, being yourself and finally overcoming whatever has been holding you back.
The thing I find disturbing is that these same points aren't as frequently directed to young women. Why aren't we teaching girls this in high school, in middle school, from day one? Why don't we teach girls to succeed and realize their dreams from the beginning? Why do we wait until their forties to encourage them to come forward?
I know history, and I understand the answer to the question. What troubles me is that I don't think we are pushing change as fast as we should. Too many women are still subservient and still put themselves in subservient and suppressed situations to the point of being indentured. The vast statistics of domestic abuse and underground slavery is staggering enough to prove we are not empowering women fast enough.
We need to work harder and faster to teach girls these things when they are young as well. I have three daughters and its more important to me for them to learn self defense and safety awareness skills than the bowling their high school took them to. I hope when my daughters are in their forties and they are looking at their lives they find they don't need a reinvention.
There is a lot of discussion about being your best, reclaiming your life, being yourself and finally overcoming whatever has been holding you back.
The thing I find disturbing is that these same points aren't as frequently directed to young women. Why aren't we teaching girls this in high school, in middle school, from day one? Why don't we teach girls to succeed and realize their dreams from the beginning? Why do we wait until their forties to encourage them to come forward?
I know history, and I understand the answer to the question. What troubles me is that I don't think we are pushing change as fast as we should. Too many women are still subservient and still put themselves in subservient and suppressed situations to the point of being indentured. The vast statistics of domestic abuse and underground slavery is staggering enough to prove we are not empowering women fast enough.
We need to work harder and faster to teach girls these things when they are young as well. I have three daughters and its more important to me for them to learn self defense and safety awareness skills than the bowling their high school took them to. I hope when my daughters are in their forties and they are looking at their lives they find they don't need a reinvention.
Root Beer Floats
In my early years of school I went to and from school to my grandparents house. In Kindergarten it was a public school just a few blocks from their house and in First and Second grade it was a Catholic School about ten blocks from their house. Approximately midway there was a small liquor store. On special days, or to pick up a gloomy day; one of those days where it was so dark it seemed like it was nighttime all day; my grandmother would let us stop at the liquor store for a special treat.
Our treat was always Rootbeer Floats. I don't really know why that was it but it was the supreme treat we could have. It was the ultimate special treat. Grandma would buy a half gallon of vanilla ice cream in the rectangular carton and a couple bottles of Hires Root Beer in glass bottles. We'd hurry home before the ice cream melted and she'd make us the floats as soon as we got home.
As the years have passed I have replaced Root Beer Floats with hot fudge sundaes and other things but if I ever come across one they still give me a very special feeling. It's a bright and cheerful feeling. Most of all, I miss my Grandma and wish she was here sharing a Rootbeer Float with me.
Our treat was always Rootbeer Floats. I don't really know why that was it but it was the supreme treat we could have. It was the ultimate special treat. Grandma would buy a half gallon of vanilla ice cream in the rectangular carton and a couple bottles of Hires Root Beer in glass bottles. We'd hurry home before the ice cream melted and she'd make us the floats as soon as we got home.
As the years have passed I have replaced Root Beer Floats with hot fudge sundaes and other things but if I ever come across one they still give me a very special feeling. It's a bright and cheerful feeling. Most of all, I miss my Grandma and wish she was here sharing a Rootbeer Float with me.
The American Dream Has Tarnished The Golden Rule
I grew up to have compassion and fear God, not people. I knew some may seek to harm me but was lead to believe that was relatively few and the masses were good Christian people like I was and we'd all live in harmony together. We'd work hard, love our children, do our jobs, lay blame where it belonged, and defend each other as we should. Boy was I wrong. Sad thing was, I bought it. I drank the Kool-aid. I believed.
Now I knew people didn't necessarily love their children; and what went on behind closed doors could be downright terrifying. I shifted from fearing God to pleading with him; neither of which seemed to help much. All in all; for the most part I've been protected from serious trauma. But I've had more than my fair share of difficulties. I've learned to lock my doors, protect my valuables and not trust so easily.
But the extent that people are just plain horrible to each other on a daily basis in the workplace, in public, in government, services, anywhere and the hatred and lack of compassion is just staggering. I am 48 years old and I am still amazed. In awe. I can't get accustomed to it. People just don't care for each other as a general rule. They only care for themselves.
I'm not the only one; so a lot of us must have drank the kool-aid because a lot of us are amazed at the inhumanity that is so rampant now. Look at our television, we promote bad behavior on television and this is what our children are watching!! They are desensitized to people lying, stealing, cheating to get what they want and winning is all that matters.
I don't think I want to get desensitized to the inhumanity of people. If I do then it means it's ok. I don't want for it to ever be ok. It means it will continue to be painful to me and hurt me. I'll just have to endure it and recuperate from it over and over again. Hopefully, someday we will again become a more compassionate society than we are now; but the American Dream has overtaken the Golden Rule at this point to an extent that frightening.
Now I knew people didn't necessarily love their children; and what went on behind closed doors could be downright terrifying. I shifted from fearing God to pleading with him; neither of which seemed to help much. All in all; for the most part I've been protected from serious trauma. But I've had more than my fair share of difficulties. I've learned to lock my doors, protect my valuables and not trust so easily.
But the extent that people are just plain horrible to each other on a daily basis in the workplace, in public, in government, services, anywhere and the hatred and lack of compassion is just staggering. I am 48 years old and I am still amazed. In awe. I can't get accustomed to it. People just don't care for each other as a general rule. They only care for themselves.
I'm not the only one; so a lot of us must have drank the kool-aid because a lot of us are amazed at the inhumanity that is so rampant now. Look at our television, we promote bad behavior on television and this is what our children are watching!! They are desensitized to people lying, stealing, cheating to get what they want and winning is all that matters.
I don't think I want to get desensitized to the inhumanity of people. If I do then it means it's ok. I don't want for it to ever be ok. It means it will continue to be painful to me and hurt me. I'll just have to endure it and recuperate from it over and over again. Hopefully, someday we will again become a more compassionate society than we are now; but the American Dream has overtaken the Golden Rule at this point to an extent that frightening.