It's hard to explain, but I feel like an airplace in a holding pattern, just circling around the same circles over and over again waiting for the go ahead to arrive at the destination.

So in between the fact that my old 'normal' is gone and over, never to be the same again but my future isn't quite ready yet.  I've got to get things in order and sorted out.  I've got to make adjustments when I know what the future is going to be, but I can't do it yet.  So I am waiting.  I hate waiting.  I feel like my life is in limbo. 

Thank heaven for the few people that are helping us.  It is interesting when you are in a crisis you find out those you expected to be there aren't; and some you never would have thought of; are.  It just goes to show that we don't always know everything we think we know about our lives. 

Sometimes we have to just accept that we are always learning things.  We have to be willing to learn them.  Not close our eyes to anything new.  It doesn't matter how old you get, learning new things is invigorating.  It's not necessarily always fun; but it breaths life into you.  It keeps you young.  It makes life more fun.  I hope I never get to the stage where I no longer allow myself to learn new things. 

My grandmother was like that.  When she could no longer do anything else she sat on the end of the sofa with an encyclopedia in her lap.  She read them like novels.  She was always learning even when her mind no longer allowed her to recall information.  She died on that sofa with a book in her lap.  

Hopefully my limbo state will pass soon and things will get resolved so I can start to move forward.  Mostly now I'm anxious and worried.  Although I have been working to resolve my issues, for the most part there is so much unknown.  Just part of the ride sometimes includes the slow straightaways I guess.