Dear Disease(s)
You have brought so many changes to my life since your arrival.
I have learned what the real difference between treatment and cure means.
I have learned how much the medical field still does not know.
I have learned they are here to stay and they are part of my life now.
I have learned they an ironic sense of humor or maybe a superiority issue,
Striking harder at the worst times and finding new conditions at random.
I’ve relinquished that I am in control and running my life by my own plan.
I celebrate smaller victories and try to live more for the moment instead.
I’ve accepted that my life now contains painful days and sleepless nights.
Daytime naps, days nothing gets done, a lot of time alone, and tentative commitments
I’ve accepted that it takes me 14 Rx’s to have a moderate day
and that my treatments are not cures, and they, like me, do the best they can
I struggle with self pity and frustration and depression
I cry out why me and get angry that I’ve been given this burden
I sob at what I’ve lost and about the fearful unknown of what is ahead
I feel lost and confused without my master plans and too long list
When I stop and really evaluate this terrible hand I’ve been dealt
I can’t help but see in some ways these illnesses have been a gift of life
They’ve slowed me down and made me re-evaluate what matters
And let go of things that don’t need to be sapping life from me
So while I struggle through another day of pain, stiffness and other problems
I tell myself, this is it; this is your life now, accept it and embrace it
Accept that you will make the best of the day and let it be what it is
So maybe sometimes we are given a burden to help us refocus on our blessings.
I have learned what the real difference between treatment and cure means.
I have learned how much the medical field still does not know.
I have learned they are here to stay and they are part of my life now.
I have learned they an ironic sense of humor or maybe a superiority issue,
Striking harder at the worst times and finding new conditions at random.
I’ve relinquished that I am in control and running my life by my own plan.
I celebrate smaller victories and try to live more for the moment instead.
I’ve accepted that my life now contains painful days and sleepless nights.
Daytime naps, days nothing gets done, a lot of time alone, and tentative commitments
I’ve accepted that it takes me 14 Rx’s to have a moderate day
and that my treatments are not cures, and they, like me, do the best they can
I struggle with self pity and frustration and depression
I cry out why me and get angry that I’ve been given this burden
I sob at what I’ve lost and about the fearful unknown of what is ahead
I feel lost and confused without my master plans and too long list
When I stop and really evaluate this terrible hand I’ve been dealt
I can’t help but see in some ways these illnesses have been a gift of life
They’ve slowed me down and made me re-evaluate what matters
And let go of things that don’t need to be sapping life from me
So while I struggle through another day of pain, stiffness and other problems
I tell myself, this is it; this is your life now, accept it and embrace it
Accept that you will make the best of the day and let it be what it is
So maybe sometimes we are given a burden to help us refocus on our blessings.
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