Unconditional Love vs. Understanding
Every day I see so many people trying to get their family and friends to understand their illnesses, feelings, etc. in order to be loved. Someone else actually planted this train of thought in my head so I can't take full credit. But I decided I'd run with it here.
If true love is unconditional - then understanding has nothing to do with it. Trying to get someone to understand something about you in order for them to love you is futile.
I suppose that is too black and white. If someone truly loves you but doesn't understand something about you - like your illness - does that mean they no longer love you? Or does it mean that it doesn't matter what they understand about your illness - they are going to continue to love you irregardless?
I know that I love my children unconditionally. I doesn't mean I always understand everything about them. So a lot of people are frantically trying to seek understanding when in fact it has no bearing on love. If someone is holding their interpretation of something over you as to whether or not they will love you then you might as well let them go because they don't already love you unconditionally.
Conditional love is a trap. It isn't love. Love is unconditional and the other is blackmail. I've been caught in that trap myself quite a few times. Coming face to face with the brutal honesty is that anyone that held that trap over my head never loved me to start with - and aren't going to no matter how many performances I succeed in for them. They will always find another one.
I generally tend to believe that most things in life are shades of gray. But love is black and white. It either is or it isn't. It can't be negotiated, bargained, or kept in line. The hardest thing is to walk away from a situation where you so desperately want someone's love but they don't give it. It is however, the best thing to do.
If true love is unconditional - then understanding has nothing to do with it. Trying to get someone to understand something about you in order for them to love you is futile.
I suppose that is too black and white. If someone truly loves you but doesn't understand something about you - like your illness - does that mean they no longer love you? Or does it mean that it doesn't matter what they understand about your illness - they are going to continue to love you irregardless?
I know that I love my children unconditionally. I doesn't mean I always understand everything about them. So a lot of people are frantically trying to seek understanding when in fact it has no bearing on love. If someone is holding their interpretation of something over you as to whether or not they will love you then you might as well let them go because they don't already love you unconditionally.
Conditional love is a trap. It isn't love. Love is unconditional and the other is blackmail. I've been caught in that trap myself quite a few times. Coming face to face with the brutal honesty is that anyone that held that trap over my head never loved me to start with - and aren't going to no matter how many performances I succeed in for them. They will always find another one.
I generally tend to believe that most things in life are shades of gray. But love is black and white. It either is or it isn't. It can't be negotiated, bargained, or kept in line. The hardest thing is to walk away from a situation where you so desperately want someone's love but they don't give it. It is however, the best thing to do.
Wow, this really hits home with me. You are so right girl!
Reply to this