I've Had It !!
My daughter lost another friend to a drug overdose. It happened a day after the friend had promised her that the drug use was over. She's going through all the mixed emotions of grief. They of course range from being heartbroken to being angry. This friend was one that had been around for years. Even the twins knew this one and were fond of him. I'm angry. My daughter has been working so hard to get her life back on track from the last loss.
I'm angry too. I'm angry because I'm fed up with consoling my kids through the death of another friend. I'm angry because it's become a way-to-frequent occurrence. Suicide, car accidents, drug use. Death of their friends is so common they are having to become numb to survive it all.
Children aren't supposed to be faced with these kinds of losses during their childhood. They are not supposed to have to deal with the realities of life before they are old enough to grasp the concept; let alone the experience. I don't know what to say anymore. It sounds trite to tell them "that's just life". At the same time, it's so difficult to keep it from derailing them.
My daughter was derailed about 4 years ago when her friend and class partner in math committed suicide one night after school. She had had quite a few intense, personal conversations with him and never had any indication he was suicidal. She was in shock and disbelief. She had to go to class and sit next to the empty chair. She shut down. First her math grade went down. Then all her classes went down. Then she started getting sick a lot. She got so she couldn't handle anything. She was totally derailed and it took a very long time for her to get back on track. That school year was pretty much a total loss.
Since then she's had other friends die and had to try to deal with it. She had boyfriend issues that took a huge emotional toll on her. She had home life issues with me being sick and her brothers moving away.
Seriously, I should have gotten her more counseling much sooner. I kept expecting her to get back on track and manage. My conversation with her tonight had a little more "you've been through this before, you are stronger now" than total shock. She now accepts the anger with the tears. Hopefully she will get through this one without too much collateral damage.
I'm just getting fed up with the number of our young dying for no reason.
I'm angry too. I'm angry because I'm fed up with consoling my kids through the death of another friend. I'm angry because it's become a way-to-frequent occurrence. Suicide, car accidents, drug use. Death of their friends is so common they are having to become numb to survive it all.
Children aren't supposed to be faced with these kinds of losses during their childhood. They are not supposed to have to deal with the realities of life before they are old enough to grasp the concept; let alone the experience. I don't know what to say anymore. It sounds trite to tell them "that's just life". At the same time, it's so difficult to keep it from derailing them.
My daughter was derailed about 4 years ago when her friend and class partner in math committed suicide one night after school. She had had quite a few intense, personal conversations with him and never had any indication he was suicidal. She was in shock and disbelief. She had to go to class and sit next to the empty chair. She shut down. First her math grade went down. Then all her classes went down. Then she started getting sick a lot. She got so she couldn't handle anything. She was totally derailed and it took a very long time for her to get back on track. That school year was pretty much a total loss.
Since then she's had other friends die and had to try to deal with it. She had boyfriend issues that took a huge emotional toll on her. She had home life issues with me being sick and her brothers moving away.
Seriously, I should have gotten her more counseling much sooner. I kept expecting her to get back on track and manage. My conversation with her tonight had a little more "you've been through this before, you are stronger now" than total shock. She now accepts the anger with the tears. Hopefully she will get through this one without too much collateral damage.
I'm just getting fed up with the number of our young dying for no reason.
My heart breaks for her and everyone that has to deal with senseless death.
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That sucks. I am so sorry. I, too, am a younger person, and I just recently started counseling from an ex boyfriend raping me at a young age, and another ex getting me addicted to drugs and blah blah blah... Not made very good decisions. But I have lost people close to me as well, so I know how she feels. The only real way to get rid of it is to throw yourself at God. He is the only constant, and He saved my life... Luke 18:1 is one of my favorite verses. I also like Romans 12:12. Look them up sometimes, they are worth your time. I am praying for your daughter, and I'll check out your blog sometime again. I have read a couple enteries, and I feel like I can relate, you know? Also, cream cheese icing is pretty amazing for a tough time, too.
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